Monk of Body, Monk of Mind...

Me in the summer of 2003

When I was studying at the monastery for three years there was a teaching about being a monk of body and being a monk of mind. Being a monk of mind does not mean one needs to be a monk of body. This is because the essence of being a monk, according to my own understanding, is the renunciation not of books and cats and jobs and lovers but of our deeply cherished opinions, judgments and mental and emotional attachments to everything within our world both outer and inner. The inner world is where we can be attached to our ideas, thoughts and emotions. (Just try giving up your emotional attachment to your emotions! Yeesh!) This is the giving up of everything. This is the true leaving home and being as the clouds.

I am amazed at how little I understood about being a monk when I was actually training as a monk. I was a monk of body, but no monk of mind. Now, I no longer look as I did in that summer photo above. There is hair that must be dealt with and a meager wardrobe that must be thought on each morning. There are cats to be fed and a home to build and a new vocation to be explored.

Yet, since leaving the monastery in September of 2004 I have found that, with meditation and the passage of a little time , I have actually learned more and more about the true meaning of 'monk.' The 'wearing of the kesa (a large piece of material sewn from patches of other material which wraps around a monk)' and the 'carrying of the bowl' were never about wearing the kesa and robes nor about beautifully carved bowls of Myrtlewood. The 'kesa' truly worn is our meditation and our devotion to follow the rules set forth by the Buddhist precepts. It is our commitment to live as a decent and ethical human being to the best of our understanding in any given moment. It is our grace.

The 'carrying of the bowl' is our willingness to be grateful for every instant of our living. To accept what must be done without judgments, to fully accept what is with clear sight. To be willing to be of service and to ask with sincerity, 'how may I help?' And to let it all go at the end of each day with another whispered prayer of, 'Thank you.'

To live in this way is to walk the path of the monk of mind. With this new perspective I have found that the true monastery is that which is the cloisterless cloister - it is all around us at every moment. It is the sky above, the asphalt beneath my feet, the sun upon my skin, the wind blowing through my hair. It is the mall, the grocery store, the doctor's office, as well as the mountains and rivers. For the monk of mind there is nowhere she goes that the true monastery is not. There is nowhere she goes that she ever ceases to 'wear the kesa' and 'carry the bowl.'

You are not Him, He is all of you....