The Hardest Thing

Over the course of my life I have often been asked about, or refered to, the hardest thing I have ever done. I used to say it was being raised as an abused child and surviving. Later, it was raising my kids as a single parent, and then it was giving up everything and leaving the world to enter the monastery. That was followed by the event of leaving the monastery and having to re-enter the world and re-create my life as a lay person.

This morning's meditation revealed the truest thing that I have done that has, in the end, actually been the hardest. To change. All of the events above have really been simply the context for change within. Looking hard at myself, looking hard at my mistakes, my flaws, my fears. To be willing to transform my greed, anger and delusions into Compassion, Love and Wisdom. The hardest thing I have ever done is still the hardest thing I am doing. And it will be the hardest thing I will do in the future.

And I am willing.